So the vicious cycle continues......... another entrance exam, another failure. This time, it was JNU - 3 courses. Had high expectations for at least 2 of them after the exam ............. result day arrives ................ not selected - not selected - not selected. It was like someone stabbed me right in the heart three times!!! For the first time, the results of an entrance exam had affected me so deeply.
With these results, all the pent up frustration and doubts have crept back in. But on the fateful day, i.e. Sunday, the 27th of June, the over-powering emotion was of anger. Anger at not being selected in the Bioinformatics course. The exam had gone off pretty well, as far as I thought. Maybe, in fact, in all probability, I am mistaken. Maybe I performed horribly. I make no pretensions that I prepared a lot for the exam or anything. In fact, I hardly prepared, I admit, and probably don't deserve to be selected. But my anger's origin owed to a different realization. The realization of the utter worthlessness of my post-graduate degree. Though when I took up M.Sc. Bioinformatics, I wasn't so sure, but over the course of the two years, I fell in love with this subject. I got it ...... I enjoyed it. But now that MSc is over, and a dark, uncertain future looms ahead, I begin to doubt the sanity of this judgment. Was I a lunatic to take up something as new and fresh as Bioinfo? For one, it has not done anything at improving my chances at clearing any of the exams that I MUST clear, to have any hope of a career in research in a good lab - CSIR-NET, DBT, ICMR and so on. Leave these exams, which totally cater to students of pure life sciences, a masters in Bioinformatics from any Indian university is not even good enough to give you an edge in the ONE exam meant solely for Bioinformaticians - BINC - BioInformatics National Certification examination. Even in this exam, a MCA or computer science grad, who has excellent programming skills and a basic, working knowledge of biology and bioinformatics, is much more likely to succeed than a BIOINFORMATICS post-graduate! Irony anyone? It's a different matter altogether though that the people in charge of this exam have such high standards that NOT EVEN A SINGLE person was found worthy twice in the short 5-6 year history of this exam.
Even in case of an entrance exam for a PhD in bioinformatics, (not many of which are there in India btw), as in the afore mentioned JNU exam, THERE WAS NOT A SINGLE QUESTION RELATED TO BIOINFORMATICS. The whole paper was based on logic, maths, physics, chemistry, statistics, and computer sciences, with a few biology questions thrown in for courtesy sake I guess. So the message I get from this is, that you'll welcome physicians, chemists, mathematicians, computer and programming experts to pursue a PhD in Bioinformatics with open arms, but the doors are shut, or tightly jammed for a trained, PG student of Bioinformatics!!??? Believe me, I'm not implying that a Bioinformatician need not know these subjects, or experts in these fields should not be allowed in Bioinfo, nor am I trying to absolve myself of the responsibility of studying for these tests, which clearly state that students from these fields are "particularly encouraged" to apply! Biology already is extremely generous - welcoming students from all fields- any entrance for a biotech or bioinfo course is always open for maths, physics, chemistry, stats, computer sc. students too with no biology background whatsoever...... All I am saying is, where does a Bioinfo PG go!? You can't clear NET as easily as other life sc students, there is hardly any requirement for bioinfo teachers in good universities, the exams "meant for your subject" are "not designed or meant to be cleared by you"....... aakhir, jaaye to jaaye kahan!?
Anyway, all I can do is - try! And try I will, in another 20 days, at ICMR. Let's see how that goes. But from the looks of it this is the kind of a situation (this vicious cycle of entrance exams followed by disappointment), which reminds me of my favorite lines from one of my favorite songs - "jo khatm ho kissi jagah, yeh aisa silsila nahi...........".
With these results, all the pent up frustration and doubts have crept back in. But on the fateful day, i.e. Sunday, the 27th of June, the over-powering emotion was of anger. Anger at not being selected in the Bioinformatics course. The exam had gone off pretty well, as far as I thought. Maybe, in fact, in all probability, I am mistaken. Maybe I performed horribly. I make no pretensions that I prepared a lot for the exam or anything. In fact, I hardly prepared, I admit, and probably don't deserve to be selected. But my anger's origin owed to a different realization. The realization of the utter worthlessness of my post-graduate degree. Though when I took up M.Sc. Bioinformatics, I wasn't so sure, but over the course of the two years, I fell in love with this subject. I got it ...... I enjoyed it. But now that MSc is over, and a dark, uncertain future looms ahead, I begin to doubt the sanity of this judgment. Was I a lunatic to take up something as new and fresh as Bioinfo? For one, it has not done anything at improving my chances at clearing any of the exams that I MUST clear, to have any hope of a career in research in a good lab - CSIR-NET, DBT, ICMR and so on. Leave these exams, which totally cater to students of pure life sciences, a masters in Bioinformatics from any Indian university is not even good enough to give you an edge in the ONE exam meant solely for Bioinformaticians - BINC - BioInformatics National Certification examination. Even in this exam, a MCA or computer science grad, who has excellent programming skills and a basic, working knowledge of biology and bioinformatics, is much more likely to succeed than a BIOINFORMATICS post-graduate! Irony anyone? It's a different matter altogether though that the people in charge of this exam have such high standards that NOT EVEN A SINGLE person was found worthy twice in the short 5-6 year history of this exam.
Even in case of an entrance exam for a PhD in bioinformatics, (not many of which are there in India btw), as in the afore mentioned JNU exam, THERE WAS NOT A SINGLE QUESTION RELATED TO BIOINFORMATICS. The whole paper was based on logic, maths, physics, chemistry, statistics, and computer sciences, with a few biology questions thrown in for courtesy sake I guess. So the message I get from this is, that you'll welcome physicians, chemists, mathematicians, computer and programming experts to pursue a PhD in Bioinformatics with open arms, but the doors are shut, or tightly jammed for a trained, PG student of Bioinformatics!!??? Believe me, I'm not implying that a Bioinformatician need not know these subjects, or experts in these fields should not be allowed in Bioinfo, nor am I trying to absolve myself of the responsibility of studying for these tests, which clearly state that students from these fields are "particularly encouraged" to apply! Biology already is extremely generous - welcoming students from all fields- any entrance for a biotech or bioinfo course is always open for maths, physics, chemistry, stats, computer sc. students too with no biology background whatsoever...... All I am saying is, where does a Bioinfo PG go!? You can't clear NET as easily as other life sc students, there is hardly any requirement for bioinfo teachers in good universities, the exams "meant for your subject" are "not designed or meant to be cleared by you"....... aakhir, jaaye to jaaye kahan!?
Anyway, all I can do is - try! And try I will, in another 20 days, at ICMR. Let's see how that goes. But from the looks of it this is the kind of a situation (this vicious cycle of entrance exams followed by disappointment), which reminds me of my favorite lines from one of my favorite songs - "jo khatm ho kissi jagah, yeh aisa silsila nahi...........".