This blog was supposed to be about reclamation. And after nearly three months of inactivity, I did reclaim something today. Just the stimuli I needed to get back to this outlet. Ever since I developed some sort of a social conscience (I'd say, around middle school), environmental issues were the prime tongs that poked it time and again, fiercely, strongly. It's not like I was a great crusader for Mother Earth, or lived my life only to serve the cause. I did just whatever was "convenient" for me. I participated actively in the school nature club, went on plantation drives, recycled paper (only as an assignment to make paper mache though!)and primarily used the strongest weapons at my disposal to get my passion across - the pen, and the mouth. I wrote articles, spoke in the school assembly about deforestation and everything else my inexperienced (though in hindsight, much more committed and dedicated) brain could fathom as the boundaries of the massive environmental crisis. How was I to know ,that what I envisaged the problem to be, was not even an iota of the reality back then? But I was passionate - the keyword here- and ready to do what ever it took on my part (of course, within my limits of convenience)to make a difference. And the response to those articles and speeches did make me feel that I was doing something significant. I did eventually realize the gravity of the whole situation as I grew up in its true proportions. But as you grow up, the realms of life expand beyond your control. Though my understanding of the whole issue was deeper now, the dual conflict of anger and helplessness it stoked within grew stronger, the barbs at the conscience grew sharper, the will and the passion to contribute, to make a difference became smaller. Convenience took more of a precedence, everything else, education, career, friends, became more important. My "contribution" was limited to the occasional use of the pen, plenty of heated discussions with like-minded friends, and keeping abreast of the situation.... both as a concerned citizen, and an aspiring biologist. The situation did not change much in college. Though I became more aware of the issue, my understanding of the problems acquired a deeper, scientific basis, and more importantly I was thrown in the company of a couple of individuals whose commitment, passion, and will was far greater than mine. Instead of being inspired to take more effective strides further, I was content with the heated discussions, putting up opinions and ideas, and doing whatever was convenient to me, using public transport by choice, saving water blah blah....., but in some way, I was still involved - still concerned. That tiny shred of involvement went away as soon as higher studies came into the picture. It was all a clean slate. I was a couple of steps away from pursuing my higher studies in wildlife and conservation biology, or even environmental studies. I was about to make a career out of my passion. But, conventional wisdom got the better of me, and steered away from the course (its a different story altogether that the road I chose from thereon was not anymore conventional than the one I left).
Its been roughly three years now since I faced that fork. In these three years, everything has changed. There is no more passion for what used to be THE CAUSE of my life, what I was meant to do. The barbs on the conscience became infrequent as opposed to constant, and conversations with those like minded individuals would make me wonder "whatever in the world happened?". Though this change also coincided with my stint in Pondy, I would not blame that place for it, as I very willingly did in my very first post here. But today, an iota of that concern, that passion, that anger, that will came back. And ironically enough, what brought it back was watching an episode of Save India's Coasts Campaign on NDTV set in...... of course, Pondicherry. I was aware of the campaign for some time, came across episodes while channel surfing, but never really stopped to watch until today.
This post was actually supposed to be on that issue - India's Coastlines and the neglect. NDTV has once again picked up something that needed URGENT attention, and kudos to them. But as I started writing, narcissism sunk in, and this whole post became just another sob story of my reclamation. But I will get to the actual issue in the next post, because now that a bit of that spark is back, the only tool I have at my disposal even now is the pen (or rather... the keyboard now actually). Till then, do check out the campaign if you are concerned.