Back to Pondy!!!

So after 3 weeks of sleeping, watching T.V., and GORGING on home food, woh manhoos ghadi aa hi gayi. It was time to go back to Pondy. So I embarked on this ominous 28 hour journey to Chennai with my friend. So far, we have taken this journey 6 times, and each time our moronic luck would put us in the company of some or the other kind of freaks in the train. This time was no exception. A 28 - 36 hour train journey itself is an ordeal, and the effect is amplified ten times if your co-passengers are annoying. All I wished for was a quiet, comfortable trip. But NO!!!!!! I had to be clubbed with a bunch of intrusive Haryanvi senior citizens, out on a pilgrimage. And it wasn't just those five who occupied the seats around us. It was a BIG, extended family - extended to the point that they themselves really didn't know much about some of the others. And they were spread throughout the train. However for some reason, they all chose to come and chit-chat in our seats for most of the trip!! So me and my friend, two poor, little, hapless chaps were surrounded by 4-5 aunty jis, (who all seemed to have a loud speaker built into their vocal cords) and an equal number of uncle jis, who had an opinion on each and everything in the world! But none of them were as much as thorn in my flesh as compared to their guru ji, the guy who was apparently the head of the family, and ran an ashram. My entire journey was spent in focusing all my energy towards ignoring and tolerating this guy and his bigoted pravachans (sermons)! And they all started their hobnobbing at 4 am in the morning! No wonder I had a splitting headache throughout the day. What is more, I gave up my lower berth to one of them, cause of her age, and took a middle berth. And how do they thank me? By unceremoniously kicking me out of the berth at 9 am (I had barely manage to fall asleep again after the rude 4 am wake up alarm), telling me that berth reservation is not valid throughout the day!!! Boy, that sure was an exercise in self-control!!! Later on in the day, one of the aunty jis insisted on dragging us into a conversation. After interrogating me about my entire family history in a manner that would put an FBI agent to shame, a marwari connection came up and all my hopes for a quite afternoon to recover from the headache went poof in the air! And my so called friend decided to make hay while the spotlight shone on me, and crawled into the upper berth for a nap. I was left alone to tackle her incessant queries. The only bleak, bright spot in this whole ordeal was that they took us for working professionals, and after being constantly mistaken for a school kid by people (and watching their jaws drop when they learn that I was pursuing my post - graduation), it was nice change to be considered your own age!

Anyway, the worst was yet to come. So we managed to survive the journey from hell and reach Chennai. We got out of the railway station, managed to avoid the thieves (read auto wallahs), cross the road and take a bus for the inter state bus terminal. All was fine. Bus was as usual crowded. No big deal. WE bought the tickets. Ours and for the luggage. I had the latter. A lot of pushing and shoving. I managed to get a seat. Actually, I was pushed into one. The bus terminal came. We got down. Police standing just out of the bus to greet us. "Ticket please". My friend shows the tickets and gets ready to leave. "Luggage ticket???". I put my hand in my pocket. "Oh crap!!!". I check all my pockets. "Oh Shit!!!". My friend looks bewildered. I say "Sir I think I dropped it in Bus". "---something in tamil I didn't understand-----". Then basically I turned all my pockets inside out a zillion times, looking for that magical bits of papers that will land us out of this soup. But I guess my pockets didn't have the ability to produce them. I must have lost the tickets amidst all the pushing and shoving. I thought I'll look in the bus, and ask the conductor to be our witness and tell these people that we did buy the ticket. And sure enough when I looked up, there were the taillights blinking and mocking me from a distance, as if saying "haha, ur screwed boy!!". Meanwhile, The man who kept shouting "no arguments, no arguments" at us, and simultaneously pretending that he didnt understand a word of english and whatever we were trying to tell him, now threatened to pick up our bags and keep it in his jeep if we didnt shell out Rs 1000/- as fine. My friend by now had gotten all hot and fired up, was ready to fight with them. I realized there was no way out other than paying the fine. And after all, it was kinda my fault, not being able to keep hold of two tiny pieces of paper. I was ready to pay the fine. Especially after the guy offered to be generous and only charge fine on 1 person, i.e. Rs 500. But my friend would have none of it. Finally I managed to convince him, and tell him it was my fault. Actually, After such a long train and bus journey, I was in no mood to take another trip in a jeep, and that too, to the Police station. Basically after a lot of bi-lingual (english and tamil) arguing, shouting, and turning in and out of pockets, I paid the Rs 500 fine, signed a paper and we were left off. But obviously not before a sizable crowd had accumulated, whispering in an alien language and pointing fingers at us, and made us feel like a couple of petty shameful criminals.

The next five minutes went in calming down my friend. A silent dinner followed. Then we got into a bus for Pondy. It was almost 11 in night. Bus started at 11:30. Now it was my turn to get silent. The combined effect of the humiliation just suffered, and the fact that I was back in this part of the world, away from home, away from my warm quilt, away from my beloved T.V., away from the delicious delhi winters, away from the wholesome ghar ka khaana, away from di n ma, took its toll on me and withdrew me into my silent reverie. My friend tried to cheer me up by telling obnoxious, bachpan waale PJs, and they kinda worked. We covered the three hour journey mostly in silence. And then we were there. Pondicherry University. At 3 am. Same as ever. And it felt like, I'm finally out of a dream, and back to reality. Back to what will be for the next 4 months more, my home.

What's happening down there!!!??

I mean Australia.......... A spate of fresh attacks on people of Indian origin has got the Indian media declaring war against Australia, while the Australian newspapers are busy lamenting the hysteria created by Indian media!! Our politicians find themselves incapable of doing anything other than issuing periodic, hollow threats to the Australian authorities. And even that is passe now. Now they have begun to tow the Australian Government's line, and calling upon the Indian media to exercise restrain in reporting. Within a week or so, a guy is killed, another burned alive, another set on fire, and another two guys attacked. A guy was actually beaten up by a bunch of locals on the beach yesterday!! And what's common between all of them? They are all of Indian origin. Doesn't take a genius to figure out that the attacks are racially motivated. But I guess even that is beyond the scope of the Australian authorities. In fact, they seem more keen on proving that the attacks are not racist, rather than on solving the cases, and putting the assailants behind the bars. Never seen such an extreme case of "living in denial". Hardly any progress has been made, in any of the cases which happened last year or even this year. They seem more concerned about the severe blow all this will cast on the Australian economy with the obvious loss of Indian students, rather than bringing the perpetrators to justice. One can only imagine what the families of the victims have gone through, and what the thousands of families with there kin in land of the ozz must be going through. And all we can do is hope that we have seen the last of such attacks.......!! :-/

The homecoming - Part II

So, my new year's eve, as I said earlier, was nothing special. I ended up channel surfing and watching a bit of each of those horrific New year specials. I was actually playing a game with myself, trying to adjudge the worst one. Expectantly, it was a tough competition, with no clear winner. It seemed like each of those channels were trying to outdo each other in mediocrity. What really bugged me was, do these program editors and directors think their audiences are fools??? Remember those days when programs like award shows, stage shows etc. were actually beamed live into your living rooms by the good ol' Doordarshan? Though the production value those days may not be have been as appealing as nowadays, and can be even considered tacky and sub-standard, it was still entertaining. And more importantly, truly LIVE. Nowadays, with all that jhintak light and sound effects, the shows may look better, but the feeling of watching a live show doesn't sink in. And they are not live. The whole thing just seems a facade, specifically done up for television. A couple of shots of the celebs in the audience are projected intermittently throughout the show. It's like Do they really think the people watching at home are dumb? They expect us to buy that the likes of Aishwarya rai, Amitabh Bachchan and other people in the audience sit throughout the 3-4 hours of the show in the same pose, with the same facial expression and laugh in exactly the same manner at each and every joke and/or performance? I mean, come on!!! But I guess it's just a part of the whole "The audiences are stupid, they'll lap up whatever we throw at them" attitude adopted by the entire television industry nowadays, whether its soaps, entertainment or news.

Amidst all this Great Indian T.V. tamasha craziness, the only constant is the good ol' Doordarashan. You can count on it, to always remain the same, and never change!!!! Star plus aired an event which was hitting the news since weeks before it was televised on the 31st, (cuz of the spicy encounter between ash n vivek), and to think, at the end, the anchors were trying so hard to make people believe that the are watching a live event, and it actually is 12 am on the 1st jan 2010, and wishing a happy new year, with fireworks n all the other drama!!! While our DD national, had those good ol' staged shows, with famous singers lip-syncing to their popular tracks, and with no intentions of making it look even remotely believable. They were dancing away to the tracks like they'd in a disco, while actually pretending to sing the songs live!! :-D The lighting, the stage and set design, the costumes, all were an instant flashback to the 80's and early 90's, the era where DD seems to be stuck in forever. In fact, travel shows which aired when I was in primary school are still airing!! And no, not new episodes! those same old episodes shot way back then!!!! Really Doordarshan does bring back a lot of fond memories of childhood.....and I'm sure not just for me...! But we'll talk about that some time later.........

dilli ki sardi!!!!............the homecoming!

Aaaaaah!!!! Can't describe how it feels to be back home! So won't even try to! Let's just say that now I can understand how a prisoner would feel after doing his time n finally going home. The best thing about this break is that it comes after a particularly grueling and horrible semester......and it's winter time!!!! There are just 2 ways about it, some people detest Delhi winters (like my mother), while others simply adore them.....I'd like to believe the latter outnumber the former. The city's aura and feel are completely different in winters. Somehow, it seems prettier draped in the white fog. It brings out the greenery n freshness even more, the monsoons having washed off all the dust accumulated on the leaves during the dry summers. I could go on and on, and the day the poet in me also wakes up, i'll try n pen down an ode to the city in all it's winter glory. Till then, let's just make do with the nihyaati cheesy, n vulgar offering from Bollywood.........cuz after all, it is about our dilli ki sardi!!


When I was not a NRD (Non - Resident Delhiite), I used to be proud of my tolerance and resistance to the cruel, bone-chilling Delhi winters. However, a year and a half in Pondi has robbed me of that!!! The cold is getting to me like never before!! I'm kinda beginning to understand why my usually calm mother shrieks and shouts when I mercilessly pull off her warm quilt!! What else will that Damn city take from me!!!!??

Anyway, as I enthusiastically await another 31st Dec night spent in front of the television watching the infinitely interesting New year specials and bouncing from one channel to another like a ping-pong ball in pursuit of something watchable, I ponder over this horrific year that just went by. Really, 2009 has to be the worst in recent history of my life, with very few gains and a mountain of losses!! The only good things that i can recall to have happened to me are Grey's Anatomy, and maybe this blog. Really! God bless Shonda Rhimes for creating that show, and whoever did the casting for it. It really got me through some tough times. It was my addiction. Some people take to alcohol, some do drugs, some do meds......I took to watching Grey's Anatomy. I'll post sometime later discussing the merits of watching that show at length, but for now it would suffice to say that it helped to know that there could be more screwed up lives than yours, and more screwed up people than you!!! (even if only in someone's imagination!! Anyway, 3 cheers for Grey's!!

And all I can hope is for 2010 to be happier, better n more fulfilling than its predecessor. Wishing u all a 2010 full of love, laughter, happiness, realized dreams n fulfilled ambitions. And to quote Ms. Phoebe Buffey, "God bless us everone"! (Sorry, Mr. Dickens, but I doubt many people would know Tiny Tim now). Okk, i guess I better take off, the New year specials would be starting soon..

Arundhati Roy -Instant Mix Imperial Democracy (Buy One Get One Free) Speech

Laments of a ‘Sciency’

They say - great men do not rest on past laurels. Or something to that effect. But I'm not great. And I'm lazy. So here's an article I wrote way back in 2nd year of graduation at Venky, DU. I believe it's one of the best things that ever came out of my pen. So here it is!!!

First of all, for the uninitiated ‘Sciencies’ is a term often used to refer to science students – that unfortunate breed of human beings generally looked upon by others with pity, wonder and in some cases relief (as in, thank God I am not one of them!). Students, or for that matter, people generally associated with science are thought of as boring creatures continuously buried in books or lost in thoughts and their idea of fun is to win a quiz, ace a test or watch Discovery channel on TV. This is probably why science students (the serious ones, that is) have acquired the iconic status of a GEEK; well oiled hair, big spectacles, braces and the likes. The English language has recently incorporated a new word for them – NERD. Unfortunately, some of the afore mentioned allegations cannot be denied. Being a member of this breed (however, not sharing the afore mentioned anatomical features) and after having analyzed the social behaviour, conversations and general lifestyle of my fellow ‘Sciencies’, I have discovered (at the risk of generalizing) that this widely respected (and ridiculed) community, does deserve many of the stereotypes associated with it.

For starters, the incorporation of scientific terms, laws and principles in routine conversations (unrelated to science) and then very artfully diverting these conversations to science is a disease which inflicts a majority of this population. For instance, just the other day a casual remark on the size of the apple being eaten by a friend sparked a lively (and informative) discussion on global warming, climate change, its impact on the Indian subcontinent (and apple cultivation) and so on! You never know when and how a casual discussion on pets can turn into a vociferous debate on animal behaviour, brain and neuronal activity etc.

Another common accusation against us is the constant analyzing (some might say over analyzing), debating and arguing over each and every trivial matter and always trying to go to the bottom of the issue, one question followed by a series of others (usually without any fruitful answers) with no end in sight. Seriously if you come across a group in the canteen making a racket which will put a bunch of howling dogs to shame, be sure it’s a group of science students (don’t raise your eyebrows, yes we do pay that occasional visit to the canteen!). Everyone keeps on talking at the same time without really hearing what anybody else is saying.

The next allegation against us is that we constantly live within this impermeable scientific bubble which clouds our thinking so much so that it becomes too factual and objective and leads to a scientific perception of everything. This is probably what leads to constant diversions of conversations to science. this might not be so much of a trouble to us but for our unfortunate non-science brethren it often proves to be a pain in the neck as this one unfortunate lady discovered the other day at the hands of a couple of my friends while traveling in a DTC bus. After completing a strenuous three hour session of rat dissection, apparently these two were not satisfied and started discussing the day’s exploits right there. As these two went on nonchalantly with their exchange of views and successes and failures in their endeavors of tearing through the rat’s anatomy and meandering amongst its fascinating arterial system, this woman sitting next to them bore the torture in silence. But as the details got more and more graphic (and bloody) she got so disgusted that she had to cover her snout…, oh sorry! her nasal area with her dupatta. And here’s where the elusive fun side of the sciences kicks in; seeing this woman’s misery just spurred my friends on to give an even more enthralling and descriptive account of their foraging through the rat’s internal organs! I surely do sympathize with that woman who became the victim of my friends’ dark sense of humour. And unfortunately, this constant preoccupation with science (one’s subject of study), is no guarantee for success in examinations! In fact, most of us are inflicted with all these afflictions without any pleasure in them. They are like that abominable scar or mark on your face that will always be there. You just have to live with them.

Some people say that science students have very little knowledge about fields or subjects outside their domain or to rephrase, have very poor general knowledge. This allegation I am not very sure about, because it’s highly generalized. Anyways, we all are aware of the level of general knowledge in the student community as a whole!

The bottom line is, gone are the days when being a science student was an instant claim to respect and awe from peers and elders alike. Now it’s more of a cause for pity and ridicule. This much maligned community, though still a long way from extinction, is losing its shimmer and the alpha – community status. So hats off to the brave souls who still dare to plunge into this deep abyss and to those unfortunate ones for whom it’s a “pit or the well” or ‘where if not here’ kind of situation. But still, in our own little queer ways, we learn to snatch those hard to come by light moments from life or better still, learn to extract fun from work itself, and that is what is claimed to be the aim of all education nowadays. In fact, our teachers also try their best to bring in an element of fun in the classroom, and occasionally they succeed too! As for the conventional kind of fun like bunking classes to watch movies, or laze around in the canteen, go for frequent outings and so on, yes we do that too, though I think not at the frequency that might be expected from a regular college student. Knowledge of science provides another kind of high too and that is the knowledge of science itself. Some of us take pleasure in the ignorance of the ‘layman’ (the use of this term, for people not well versed with scientific principles, itself provides a great sense of superiority, though one might be failing their own exams) and then laughing at them. Some of us like to show off our knowledge to the ‘layman’, however inaccurate, wrong or inappropriate it might be with respect to the situation at hand. Though it might sound a little conceited and shallow, but can you blame us when we are always urged not to think like a ‘layman’ or are asked questions like “how would you explain XYZ to a ‘layman’?” by our teachers?

So saving this endangered species might require a humungous effort, even bigger than ‘project tiger’; with the popularity of professional courses increasing by the day. But to those brave-heart specimens found in the science block (not the ones found bottled in the laboratories) roaming in the corridors, or more appropriately, sitting in the classrooms, all I can say is - Hang in there!

A Bus Ride in Pondi!

My university is situated around 12 Km away from the main Pondi city. So it's almost situated at the border between Puducherry and Tamil Nadu. And the place is a forest, situated right on the beach, spread over an area of 900 acres almost. So basically, we are like tribals living on the outskirts of the big bad city, just that in this case, the tribals (university students) are much more cooler, and hepper than the city populace! ;-)

Occasionally, we tribals have to hit the city, you know, to buy certain essentials, and to treat our tired bodies and souls with some decent, edible food. And to go to the city, one has to take a Pondi city bus, analogous to the infamous Delhi Blueline buses. Yup, the Delhiites reading this would get the picture.....the very thought of travelling in a blueline fills the heart with terror and a big lump in the throat appears from nowhere. Now just amplify that felling ten times, and you'll get an inkling of the feeling i get whenever there is a prospect of geting into a Pondi bus.

First of all, getting in is in itself quite a struggle! The same principle of packing people in the bus like cattle or hens being taken to the slaughter-house, that operates in Delhi works here too. A non-crowded bus is a rarity. But, there are many perks that a ride in these buses provide, for example;

• pleasure for your olfactory senses - as soon as you get in the bus, a unique combination of smells - beer, desi liquor, rotten fish, salty sea water, and jasmine gajras - hits you! Now isn't this a super concoction!? I'd suggest one of these celebs to bring out a perfume line using this combo..........a blockbuster on your hands!!
• Human touch - since Pondi is the place to be for all connoisseurs of cheap liquor, you'll see plenty of old, really old men, usually homeless, travelling around, bare-foot, and stinking drunk!! these men form the majority of the bus commuters. And they have no qualms in snugging up to you, resting their tired heads on your shoulders, trying to sit on your shoulders or head if you were lucky enough to grab a seat, and the likes. yup, people here are very loving!!! :-/
• Music!- And for all the music lovers, most of the drivers are very thoughtful! they keep the interests of their commuters in mind, and play LOUD, ear-splitting, head-banging tamil songs! And by head-banging, I don't mean the Metallica sort of head-banging. I mean, literally, it feels something like a hammer is banging on your head!! And the volume is so loud that stuffing your ears with your mp3 player will not work too.......though sometimes, the music can be good too!
• Thrills - Ever wished while watching Formula 1 that you could be in one of those cars, speeding away to glory!? just get in one of these buses- same speed thrills, and just for Rs. 4. Plus, the thrill of having your life in peril for a good half an hour is thrown in for free!!! :P Really, the Blueline and DTC walas have a lot ot learn from their Pondi counterparts in this regard! They lag waaaaaaaay behind!
• No Reservation! - Yup.....there are no seats "reserved for the ladies". But, there is general understanding here. Men, get in from the front. Women get in from the back. Even if they are travellin' together!!! So the back of the bus is jam-packed with women, and the front with the men. And even if the bus is heavily crowded, and a lady is sitting on the three-seater, no man will dare to sit there, even if the seats remain empty. And to think of it! In Delhi, there are guys who wouldn't budge from the reserved seats even when an old aunty ji shouts her lungs out at them! :P

So, these are some of the characteristics which make a bus ride in Pondi so eventful and exciting. You'll be thinking, "Gosh! that's horrible!". And that's my fault. This was just one-side of the coin.If you get past the smell and the crowd and the general discomfort, you'll see the humane and kind side of the people here, which is associated with most of the small towns in our country. Here, when those homeless, poor, old men try to get in the bus, the people and/or the conductor, help them get in, hold their sticks and make way for them. Even if they are filthy and reeking of alcohol, no one shuns them. I can not imagine that happening in Delhi, where people would shudder at the slightest touch of such an unfortunate individual. Here, everyone is welcome to ride the bus, of any status, any position. Street urchins are not shooed away like stray dogs, as is done in Delhi. Here people do not fight for a foothold, they make way for one another. Everyone adjusts with a silent, mutual understanding. They don't stand rigidly in your way when you are in the middle of the bus and have to get off. They make way for you, so you don't miss your stop. AND ya, EVERYONE BUYS THE TICKET..................WILLINGLY!!! Really, dilli-walas too have a lot to learn from the denizens of Pondi.